It was NOT ME! that sat down to write my NMMs at 4:00pm this afternoon {I figure if I can't be first, I will strive to be last:)} only to look down at the clock at 4:11 and suddenly realize that Michaela (who was upstairs getting out of the bath and leisurely putting her contacts in) had to be at ballet class~~~10 miles across town~~~ in 15 minutes!!
It was NOT ME! and my two daughters that ran around and got ready, headed out the door, stopped at Skyline, (because I figured if she was going to be late, I might as well have my caffeine fix) and made it to the dance studio at 4:35! It was NOT ME! that went slightly faster than the posted speed limit to get there! I am ALWAYS law abiding and would NEVER be a bad example to my daughters!
It was NOT ME! that did NOT forget my daughter's dance class due to my schedule being muddled because I allowed her to take a mental health day today. It was NOT ME! that allowed Emma to stay home for a MH day also. We certainly did NOT lounge around all day doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. School is important. I would never encourage skipping!
It was NOT ME! that made homemade bread dough for dinner. It was NOT ME! that left said bread dough in a bowl on the counter while I went downstairs to put a load of laundry in. It was NOT ME! that came up 5 minutes later to find our sweet ornery, well-behaved monster puppy with her feet on the counter eating the RAW DOUGH!
It was NOT ME! that found the same sweet puppy with her paws on the counter today. It was NOT ME! that quickly put the lid on the peanut butter and closed up the bread (that Emma had left on the counter when she made her lunch) and put them in the cupboard. It was NOT ME! that then saw our sweet puppy licking her 'lips'. It was NOT ME! that wondered if she had gotten her tongue into the peanut butter and if I should throw away the remainder. It was NOT ME! that could see no evidence of her tongue and decided to put the jar back into the pantry- thinking that peanut butter is expensive, this was a brand new jar, and Emma was the only one that eats it~~and she's 5 and will never know. YUCK! That would be gross. What kind of person would do that.
WARNING: Do not eat the peanut butter if you come to my house this week~~~ I really do not know!!
It was NOT ME! that considered deleting the last NM because that was too much sharing. But.... since I DID NOT do it, I will leave it.
It was NOT ME! that threatened Emma with a 'pixie' haircut if she did not stop the drama every time we brushed her hair. It was NOT ME! that actually went online and showed her a picture of a little girl with this haircut to put the fear in her. It is NOT ME! that is considering hanging a picture of me when I had that awful haircut in her bathroom as a daily reminder! It is NOT ME! that is happy that this threat is working so far, because I could never really go through with it!
It is NOT ME! that continuously gets a wrong number phone call on my cell phone from an 866 number. It is NOT ME! that received a call at 8:30 on Saturday morning on my home phone. {For those of you that do not know me, I am NOT a morning person. I like to sleep in {until 10:00 at least} on the one day a week we do to have to be somewhere.} It was NOT ME! that got aggravated when I saw the 866 number. It was NOT ME! that answered the phone and without giving them a chance to speak told them "HE DOESN'T LIVE HERE. STOP CALLING THIS NUMBER. I AM TIRED OF TELLING YOU THIS." It was NOT ME! that hung up the phone, laid my head down and suddenly remember that the wrong numbers were on my cell phone NOT me home phone. It was NOT ME! that then laid there~~WIDE AWAKE~~ wondering who I had just been abrupt rude to.
It is NOT ME! that is going to a Ladies' Getaway with Michaela this weekend. It is NOT ME! that is cringing at the thought of sleeping in a cabin, on a bunk bed, with many other women in the room. It is NOT ME! that is DREADING the whole camp shower/communal living. It is NOT ME! that is tempted to reserve a room at one of the nearby hotels.
It is NOT ME! that is going to end this confession session and begin studying about PULMONOLOGY~~~since I have done no school work today.
What did you NOT do this week?
Head on over to My Charming Kids for more laughs!
