I thought when we received word of a job there would be a weight lifted off my shoulders; a sense of relief that life was moving forward in a positive direction. Yet surprisingly, when Steve called me to let me know that Rathion had called and made an offer, there was no sigh of relief from me; no sense of solace.
Please don't get me wrong, I AM happy. I am not trying to be negative. This IS what we have been praying for and I am thankful that our prayers have been answered.
I am not sure where the hesitation is coming from. I am definitely not attached to this house~~~it is just brick and wood. I do not have friends that live around us, nor do I have an attachment to the Northern Kentucky area, but as I think about packing up our possessions and putting a For Sale sign in the front yard a sadness overwhelms me. I think about the impressions of Michaela's feet and hands made the day the builders poured the driveway; the bathroom tiles painted by her friends. I think about the first day of school pictures taken in front of the same tree every year~~seeing the growth of the girls and the tree each August. I think about the landscaping I just finished designing, the trees we have planted, and the projects Steve and I have worked on together the last 9 years...and it makes me sad to say good bye to those memories.
Which is silly, I know, but the sadness is still there.
While I begin packing up our possessions and preparing the house to be put on the market, I am sure there will be more moments of sadness. But I know that the sadness will give way to the excitement of moving closer to friends; the sadness will be replaced by the aggravation:) of trying to find a place to live~~~that we like, that we can afford with only one income, that's in the best school district..... My sadness will be smothered by the excitement of the girls~~~because they ARE excited!!!!
Change is often not easy, even when it is what has been prayed for, but it is inevitable. So as we begin this transition in our lives, we will press on confidently~~~sadness and all.