Monday, August 31, 2009

communication is key....

"Just wait until your Father gets home!"is a phrase that brings fear to many children. When those words pass their mother's lips, they KNOW they have crossed a line, they have pushed their mother past her limits of control and the disobedience requires the attention of the strict, stern father.

Of course in our home the phrase, "Just wait until your Father gets home!" would bring more relief than fear. Michaela and Emma would LOVE for me to leave the discipline to their Daddy!!!

Meshing different parenting and discipline skills is one of the most difficult aspects of being parents. One parent is strict, one is more lenient. One likes to 'talk things through', the other uses corporal punishment immediately. One is consistent to a fault, the other does not follow through. The differences in parenting styles can be many, but they are not insurmountable~~as long as there is communication between the parents. Leaving the lines of communication open is crucial to being successful partners as you parent.

When there is communication between the parents there is an understanding in the actions taken to remedy the situation; you can stand together as a united force~~even if the choice made is different than what you would have chosen. The child sees the parents as unified. Discipline is more effective.

When parents communicate with one another, they both would know that their child had disrupted class with talking, for example. They both would know that the teacher had come to talk about the situation. They both would know that a long conversation had been had with the child and therefore the other parent would not have another conversation with said child 4 days later when he/she became aware of the situation. Both parents would have had said child apologize to the teachers immediately so that the individuals would know that we do not tolerate this behavior and that we hold the child accountable for his/her actions. With communication, the punishment could have been swift and both parents could have been unified in the chosen discipline~~~alleviating one parent from becoming the 'bad guy'. Communicating would allow for cohesion between the parents~~~ending any confusion that could arise.

So discuss...

hash things out....

talk, talk, talk....

Communication is the key to parenting success!

***it also would have alleviated my confusion caused by comments made by others :)***

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