Friday, September 26, 2008

mother of the year i am not...

I love when teachers have to tell parents something that is not going to be received well. Because this happens frequently, teachers have their own special way of saying things that sound 'positive' and polite but the underlying message is .."Your kid is a pain." "You stink as a parent." and so on. {I especially love when the teachers do not realize I taught and I know the lingo!!}


As Emma Shea and I are walking home from the bus, she tells me she got sick in the sink at school. We continue to the house talking about her morning. When we got home, I searched the backpack for a note explaining the circumstances of the 'sickness'--running too hard, a coughing fit, ... When I did not find anything, I called Mrs. Anderson (on her lunch break, before the afternoon students got there--teachers REALLY love that!).
The conversation went as follows:

Me: "Hello. I am sorry to interrupt your lunch, but Emma said she got sick at school today. I was just wondering what happened."

Mrs.A: "She did. I think she is fine. What came up was clear. I think it is because she was hungry. She's mentioned a few other times that she doesn't eat breakfast. I am sure she is probably one of those children who are not big breakfast eaters. Why don't we try sending in an extra snack and I can just give it to her at 9:00 or 9:30."
***TRANSLATION: "Yeah, your daughter has told us you do not feed her breakfast and she is soooo hungry she is vomiting. You suck as a mother and you need to make her eat breakfast. Since you can't seem to do your job, just send in some food and we will make sure she eats something."

Me: "No, she doesn't like to eat breakfast right when she wakes up so by the time she has been awake long enough and is hungry, she is in school. Usually she eats a Go-gurt or drinks some milk before she gets on the bus. She did eat some mandarin oranges this morning. This will be a great lesson on the consequences of not eating breakfast. "(The entire time, I am thinking.."My child has never been a great breakfast eater. I can't believe that is the reason for the vomiting.")

Mrs.A: "She ate some graham crackers and then she was fine. I am sure she will be okay!"

...conversation moves on to honoring Steve in the HOMETOWN HEROS for serving his country, etc.


***UPDATE: Guess what I have just finished doing?
Giving Emma a shower and cleaning vomit out of my van.
Yeah, she threw up because I starve her!!!! HA