Here goes...my first 'Not Me! Monday"
(1) I did NOT drive 8 hours, round trip, to pick up a puppy. Nope. Not me. That would make me crazy. A dog--when we do not know when Steve will get a job or where we will be living. Getting a puppy would add another mouth to feed and added expenses. Deciding to get a puppy now would show a lack of sense. And I always use my common sense and make practical, logical decisions. Definitely NO PUPPY CAME TO THIS HOUSE TODAY. I did not choose to buy a Newfoundland. NOT ME!!!
(2) I certainly did not have to spank my 12 year old for being mouthy and rolling her eyes at her father. If I had to spank her that would mean my child was NOT the perfect, respectful well-mannered child I raised her to be. And because my 5 year old is always the picture of goodness and obedience, I did NOT have to punish her for telling a lie. I certainly did not have her take a bite of soap to wash the ugliness out of her mouth. I always use non-physical punishment. I am always the picture of the patience mother. So, that certainly was not me.
(3) As I was driving down I-71, I did NOT see animals on the side of the road and ask outloud, "What are those?" and then answer, "Oh, they are sheep." This certainly could not have been me because a). I know my farm animals and b). I was alone in the car and that would mean I was talking to myself--and answering my own questions. I am too 'together' to talk to myself and I most certainly am not loony enough to ANSWER my questions. Again, this was NOT ME!!
(4) It was not me that became annoyed when my husband said he was going to play golf tomorrow with Joe. Nope. Not me. Never. I am always the supportive wife! I realize he has been working very hard around the house. I certainly would not get aggravated because I want him here doing the rest of his honey do list. That would make my selfish. I always put my wants behind his. If this had been me, the conversation would have been more like, "Only one round? Are you sure you don't want to play two?" "What time do I need to be up to fix your breakfast and shine your clubs?" So, since the conversation did not go that way, it could NOT have been ME!!!
(5) And lastly, (not because it is the last of the crazys, but because it is time to take the puppy, I did not get, outside to go potty and to her new bed) I did NOT stuff my face with the girls' M&M's and Milky Ways. I am watching what I eat and M&M's and Milky Ways are not calorie smart foods. I would only be seen eating carrot and celery sticks. I have no idea where all of the chocolate went, but it was NOT ME that ate it. Clearly, since my sweatpants are fitting fine it was NOT ME that had to wipe the evidence from my face!
I was about to publish this post, but I needed to add one....
(6). It was NOT ME that just went down stairs to check on the puppy (Because we did not get one) only to find my husband sitting with her. It could not have been me that snapped a picture of him petting her and getting her used to the crate. He wanted no part of getting a dog. He was against the addition to our family, so I certainly did NOT hear him talking to her and comforting her. Not Me. Not my husband.